


To A Drunk Mind, Nothing Stays A Secret

by neverendingstories



Series: Derek & Spencer [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bar, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Bisexual Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan - Freeform, Doctor!Spencer, Drunk Confession, Drunkenness, FBI agents, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, One Shot, Spencer Reid - Freeform, Unlabeled Derek Morgan, agent!derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverendingstories/pseuds/neverendingstories
Summary: After a case, Derek drags Spencer into a bar to have a few drinks. What follows is a drunk Spencer who makes a confession.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Series: Derek & Spencer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029651
Comments: 6
Kudos: 108





	To A Drunk Mind, Nothing Stays A Secret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Laura_nagy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laura_nagy/gifts).



> All characters are created and owned by Eye Net Works, Inc., and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Criminal Minds.

It wasn’t an everyday situation to spot Spencer Reid in a bar drinking a cold beer with his muscular friend and team colleague Derek Morgan. He felt rather uncomfortable in the dark room, shifting on his barstool as he continued trying not to stare at the totally hammered stranger next to him and stared into his half-empty beer instead.

He actually didn’t want to be there, but after the circumstances of their case a few hours ago left him with a lump in the pit of his stomach, he accompanied Derek after a lot of persuasion from his friend’s side.

They sat in silence, the only noise coming from the other people inside the bar, because, well, what was there to talk about after a day like they’ve just experienced? They had yet another unsub that kidnapped kids and had a hard time trying to find them after the woman who kidnapped them killed herself.

“Hey, mind sharing what’s going through that big brain of yours?”

Spencer looked up now, he hadn’t expected Derek to say something anytime soon. He was somehow content with dwelling on his own thoughts for a while. The switch in his mind entirely flipped when he thought about Dereks words, so instead of sharing his feelings, he answered totally different:

“Actually, meta-analysis MRI studies reported that the relationship between brain volume and the intelligence of an individual-“

“ _Spence_.”

“Yeah?”

“We both now that’s not what I wanna hear.”

“Right.” He turned again, proceeded to continue his staring, only now it’s the surface of the bar in front of him, on which he tapped his fingers, as he tried to find an appropriate answer.

“I’m not quite sure what was going through my mind when you asked that question, sorry,” he sheepishly admitted after several seconds passed.

He heard a light chuckle next to him and not even a second later, Dereks hand rested on his shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before he pulled away, leaving Spencer with a loss of warmth on that certain spot.

“It’s alright, I didn’t really expect that you want to talk about what happened today, but it was worth a try. Interesting to know that your eidetic memory doesn’t apply to your own thoughts though.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m convinced talking about something serious in here is quite impossible for me. And you’re right, it’s got something fascinating, that, I admit.”

“Where else would you talk about stuff than between drunk people who don’t care anyway?” Derek gave him kind of a cheeky grin now, but his eyes definitely gave away that alcohol rushed through his blood the very second he talked.

A bit amused by the state Derek was in, Spencer just responded with a lopsided smile and drank the last bit of his beer. Derek, of course, noticed that. For Spencer, he somehow always noticed. Even the little things. He raised his hand to call over the barkeeper and ordered another two drinks. This time, Spencer didn’t complain. After two drinks, a third one wouldn’t do him any harm.

 _Why does he have to be so attentive to the people surrounding him?_ , Spencer thought, the logical part of him long forgotten. It wasn’t the first time he found himself thinking too much about his teammate and best friend. There were times when he very much welcomed the thoughts about him, he enjoyed spending his evenings with Derek. But in some moments, he didn’t understand why he had feelings towards him and why his chest sometimes almost exploded while watching Derek in certain scenarios. He just wasn’t able to contain himself when Derek was training and sweating in the meantime or taking one of the bad guys down the way he always did.

He never opened up about that to anyone and he obviously didn’t plan on doing so very soon. Though, it was hard acting like nothing’s happening in his mind when he was in company of all his friends. He was confused, tried to come across as relaxed and probably looked more tense, than without trying to avoid looking tense. After all, he was more than sure that he’s never felt anything towards another man and therefore, has been pretty much straight all his life.

He shook the uncontrollable thoughts away and tried to come back into the present. He didn’t want Derek noticing anything about the stuff spinning around in his head.

“Hey boy, you sure you’re alright? You’re staring into nothingness and haven’t even noticed that he placed the beer in front of you.”

His head snapped into Dereks direction and without thinking much about it, he blurted out a strangled sounding “Huh?”.

“How very eloquent you are today.”

And because he had more alcohol in one night than he ever had the past years, he relaxed and couldn’t stop himself from answering, “Someone read a dictionary, hm?”

First, Derek looked visibly shocked but soon started laughing. Never in his life did he hear Spencer roasting someone the way he just roasted him.

“Seems like someone’s finally ready for another prank war,” Derek slurred and giggled quietly to himself.

“Uh, no. I’m not too fond of the idea that someone’s calling me every five minutes again.”

Evenings like these were Spencer’s favorites. His brain wasn’t occupied with pictures such as dead bodies or the fear in peoples eyes and he had time to just bicker back and forth with Derek, his closest friend which he had since he joined their BAU team.

“Pretty boy, you just know you’re going to lose against the master of all prank wars.”

“Yeah, that must be it,” Spencer replied and rolled his eyes at the words that came across with so much self confidence, it would’ve sounded arrogant if he didn’t get to know his friend good enough over almost a decade.

“I’m not joking when I tell you my memory can still recall the sound of your screams coming out of my headphones.”

Spencer burst out laughing at the memory flashing through his head and remembered how people stared at him while recording his own ridiculous screams.

-

“Hey, Reid?”

“Hmmm?”

Derek chuckled at the sight of Reid and how he was barely able to keep his eyes open. After he watched Reid for a good few minutes to observe the effect the alcohol had on his friend, because he never saw him drunk, he almost forgot his question.

“What are the effects of being drunk?”

Derek wasn’t one to voluntarily listen to Reid’s rants about science and studies, as he wanted to start a conversation though, he needed something his friend would gladly talk about.

Spencer huffed and scrunching up his face, he seemed deep in thought about it.

 _He’s so pissed_ , Derek thought and giggled once again.

“From what I’ve read, alcohol intoxication, for you “being drunk”, leads to losing coordination, vomiting, slurred speech and veisalgia, also known as a hangover, which comes from norwegian kveis, meaning uneasiness following consumption of alcohol and greek álgos, meaning pain,” he explained with his usual hand gestures, took a deep breath and continued. “On the other side: From my own experience, which is only right here and now, I just feel horrible and dizzy, but at the same time I feel mostly like I don’t give a shit about anything.”

“Woah, don’t forget to breathe over there.”

“Mh-hmm. Hey, hey, be careful, you look like you’re about to fall do- Well, never mind, there he goes.” Spencer tried his best to help his best friend back up on his seat but struggled due to Derek making himself heavier on purpose. He couldn’t stop the laughters that bubbled out of himself. He let go of Dereks wrists and as he was about to turn around to his beer and giving up, he heard a loud thud, followed by a complaining “Ow, Spence!”.

“My bad!” he called down and helped him up properly, while trying to stop his uncontrollably laughters. “Damnit, how many drinks did you have?”

“Don’t know, but I can still talk, so definitely not enough drinks.” Finding himself perfectly hilarious, Derek burst out laughing. Spencer watched him with a disapproving look but didn’t dare to comment on how this was unhealthy, it wasn’t like he was a tad better.

“You do impress me, Derek Morgan. Didn’t know there’s a side to you I don’t already know.”

Derek smirked.

“And what side would that be?”

“The side of you behaving like a toddler. Though, it’s adorable,” he said and chuckled dryly. Then, upon realizing what he just said, he froze and felt blood rushing in his cheeks and a heat crawled up his cheeks and ears. He knew his face probably turned crimson red, praying for his own sanity that Derek wouldn’t notice and if he would, he hoped he could just blame it on the amount of alcohol he drank compared to every other special occasion with the team where everyone had wine while he stuck with water.

“You really are something, Doctor Spencer Reid,” Derek said, not acknowledging the embarrassment his friend went through, even though he noticed, and playfully ruffled Spencer’s hair, knowing it’ll make him furious because his curly hair easily turned into a mess of a bird’s nest.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?” Spencer asked, glad that his accidental compliment wasn’t the center of attention anymore. Instead, a million and one thoughts were racing in his mind, nothing compared to his racing heart at the little acts of affection coming from Derek. Secretly, he wished Derek intended to compliment him with what he said.

Derek winked.

“Only compliments for you, my friend,” he said with hiccups in between his words.

On the inside, the curly haired man was a mess. On the outside he managed to remain nonchalant to not give his delight away. Still, he couldn’t help but cringe at the words “my friend”. It was most definitely not what he wanted to hear, although the way Derek slowly spoke the words with his deep voice made something inside of him feel weaker with each word.

“God, you’re making this absolutely hard,” he mumbled to himself.

“That’s what he said,” he cheekily pointed out the innuendo. “Do you mind to elaborate what you mean?”

There was something about Dereks devious grin that made him really, really want to confess and rant about his current situation. Pushing the skeptical thoughts and all his doubts aside, he decided that he didn’t have anything to lose and should just go for it while he had the chance.

He held his breath, closed his eyes for a moment to think this through. It was an opportunity everyone should take when they see it. He let out an exasperated sigh, preparing for the worst reaction possible but determined not to chicken out. He didn’t know where he got the sudden courage from, when he once again felt the dizziness, he realized that the alcohol did have some good effects.

“There goes nothing,” he said as quiet as possible.

“Hey, if you don’t want to, that’s fine by me.”

Spencer gave him a thankful smile and a small understanding nod. He made his decision. If Derek reacts badly, so be it.

“No, it’s alright,” Spencer assured him.

“Take your time, I’m not going to leave for the next hour or two,” he said and put on a reassuring smile while slightly nudging Spencer’s shoulder with his own.

“I like you. Not in an I-like-you-as-a-friend kind of way. It’s more like- Well, I don’t know what- ...what exactly it is myself. Only thing I know is that you’re more than just a friend to me and-... And I’m kind of freaking out because now, after I actually said it out loud, it feels like telling you was a bad idea and- And I just hope you can still be my friend after the information I just provided. I’m not expecting you to even answer to it right now because I only needed to get this off my chest. I- Just- Just don’t make a big deal out of it. Not that it is a big deal-,” Spencer interrupted himself, pressed his face into the palms of his hands and let out a frustrated groan. Looking through his fingers at Derek, he couldn’t stop himself from continuing to explain himself. “What I mean is-... I- I’m definitely going to shut up now because that look on your face tells me I was totally rambling. Okay.”

Derek gaped at him, opening and closing his mouth a few times. Every time he wanted to say something, he changed his opinion and thought about something else to say. He wanted to laugh about the way Spencer made it more awkward than necessary, out of respect and because he didn’t want to cause Spencer more embarrassment, he just sat there for a few minutes and contemplated what to say. He was scared of saying the wrong thing and upsetting his curly haired friend in any way.

“Okay, wow. That was a lot to take in,” he started after a while and Spencer nodded furiously, too flushed to look Derek in the eyes.

“Since when?” He asked instead of making any statements about the confession. Curiosity got the better of him and suddenly, he felt like he was sobered up completely. The toddler side of him Spencer mentioned earlier was nowhere in sight and apparently, it was not at all as impossible for Spencer to have a serious conversation in a bar like this as he claimed earlier.

The tension between the two of them grew unbearable as seconds and then minutes passed by. Spencer regretted this decision despite Dereks reaction not being what he expected. He expected a rejection or some sort of emotion he could read from his face. Instead he got nothing, only a simple question he didn’t want to answer to save himself from giving Derek more details about everything that he isn’t supposed to know. At least for now.

“Can we, I don’t know, continue to talk about this when we’re not intoxicated and in a crowded bar?” Spencer groaned, this wasn’t going well.

“Maybe that would be what’s best, but you just threw that confession at me and then refuse to talk about it.” Derek sighed and contemplated the options he had. He could either be supportive of his friend for somewhat coming out to someone for what seemed like the first time, or he could be a prick who digs for more answers and ending up making his friend just more uncomfortable than he already was. He chose the former. “But I did tell you that you should take your time, which is why I’m totally okay with talking about this another time. We will definitely do it though, you’re not getting away with this, Spence.”

Spencer had no idea what to say. He felt like there was nothing to say that was enough. Derek had told him he wouldn’t let this go, only the thought about getting confronted by him in the next few days made him nervous. He wanted to flee the situation, he also needed to get out of the sticky room to get some air.

“Excuse me, I need some fresh air, I’ll be right back.”

“What about we just head home, huh?” Derek suggested, seemingly uncomfortable with the tension that was created between him and his, to this day considered, best friend.

“Uh, yes. Okay,” was the only thing Spencer answered before they both grabbed their jackets, paid for their drinks and left through the big wooden door that led them outside into the cold, dark night.

They were walking in step and made their way down the street on the sidewalk, both looking down at their feet as they passed their cars they weren’t allowed to drive home anymore.

“I know we agreed on not talking about your feelings towards-... towards me. But can I ask a related question?”

Spencer hesitated for a moment but soon decided that his question couldn’t be worse than what already happened back in the bar. Scared that his voice will break if he uses it, he just answered with a nod and hoped Derek would see it.

“You have feelings for me. What does that make you? Sexuality wise, I mean. You don’t need to say it, I’m just surprised. I never noticed that you might be- sorry, that you are interested in men.”

“It’s hard to explain-“

“I have time,” Derek hastily interrupted.

“Plenty of studies show that there is a period of time, or as non-heterosexual people don’t like to call it “phase”, of sexual questioning and experimenting before people become aware of their sexual identity and-“ Spencer saw Dereks pointed look and stopped mid-sentence. “What I’m really trying to say: I didn’t have that kind of experimenting, I kind of always assumed, was convinced so, that I’m hetero. But then- You-“

“I was the reason you found out,” Derek completed his sentence with the words that seemed to get caught in his throat.

“For all I know, yes, you could say that you were the reason,” he barely whispered.

He heard a puff of air coming from Derek. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the corners of his mouth turn upwards, resulting in a smile.

“ _So?_ ” he asked.

“So what?” Spencer responded with a questioning look.

“Your answer didn’t actually answer the question.”

“Well, I was only interested in women my whole life. Then, _boom_ , suddenly there’s that man I really like and it kind of threw me off course that my thoughts drifted in that direction. I had a lot to figure out for myself, that part was anything but easy for me. Looking back, it was kind of obvious, but it took me some time to come to the conclusion that I am indeed bisexual and that it’s not just a phase but my life now.”

“Wow, and all that time I didn’t notice you had that inner conflict. I should’ve been there for you. I’m sorry, Spencer.”

Spencer pondered for a minute, not sure what to say. Then, a tiny smile crept onto his lips.

“Don’t get me wrong, but back then confiding in the guy I had a crush on didn’t seem like the best solution for my problem.”

“Makes sense. Promise me something?”

“Depends.”

“Next time you need something or just someone to talk to, for the love of God, let me know.”

“I think I can do that, yeah. I promise.”

They once again fell into silence, going into their own head to think about everything on their own. At some point Spencer stopped in his tracks, recognizing the neighborhood and the building of the apartment he lived in.

Derek, who was deep in thought about the information, didn’t notice, forcing Spencer to grab him by the arm and pull him back. Suddenly, Spencer felt like he was back in his first year at the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He fell back into being shy and reserved around Derek. He was more than just intimidated by him when he joined the team and tried to avoid talking to him, afraid he would make a fool out of himself in front of the cool and muscular womanizer.

After they lingered for a while, they said their goodbyes and shortly hugged each other a little awkward, Derek patting him on the back multiple times before they parted ways. Before Spencer entered the building, he turned around one last time and watched Derek turn around the next corner not far from where he stood.

When he got to his floor and struggled for a while to push the key into the keyhole of his brown door, he finally made it into his warm and cozy home. Too lazy to get himself out of his clothes, he let himself fall onto the bed with his work clothes and his shoes still on his feet.

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep after his head hit the pillow, too tired to look back or waste another thought on his very embarrassing confession in a bar with complete strangers who might’ve even overheard their conversation.

-

When Spencer woke up and opened his eyes the next day, his head pounded and the ceiling above him seemed to spin around. He knew he would most likely have a hangover the next day. But he didn’t expect it to be that bad. The logical side of him came alive then, telling him that his liver wasn’t even used to a little bit of alcohol. Let alone more than three beers. He couldn’t quite remember how many he had, which was a sign that it was too many.

He held his head and searched for the vibration that woke him up. After he found the unsub that caused the noise, he grabbed his phone and looked at the watch on his nightstand. It was ten in the morning.

The sun that shone through the small gap of his curtains confirmed that it was morning. He most certainly didn’t feel like he just slept eight hours and the recovery that sleep should bring was just not there. Instead he felt restless and wanted to fall back into his soft pillows.

The still vibrating cellphone got him back into then and there. He picked up without looking at the caller ID.

“Reid, where are you? I called you six times! We have a new case!”

 _Wow, just what I want to hear first thing in the morning_ , his inner voice said, dripping with sarcasm.

“Emily, I’m so sorry. I missed the bus. The next one will be here soon.”

 _Really, that’s your excuse?_ , his brain mocked him as he smacked his hand against his forehead.

“Would you shut up?” he whispered to himself, still not fully awake.

“Excuse me, what?” he heard Emily’s shocked voice say.

“Nothing. I’ll be right there.”

That being said, he hung up and ran to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and brought his hair into an inconspicuous hairstyle so no one would notice that he just got out of bed.

Choosing the outfit that was easiest to put on, he got dressed and only grabbed the most important and necessary items. He made his way through the busy traffic as fast as he possibly could to get his car that was still standing outside the bar.

Twenty minutes later he stepped out of the elevator, rushing past other agents on their floor while his shoulder bag almost dropped down multiple times. By the time he arrived in the conference room of their team, he started to sweat and his unathletic lung threatened to give up.

“Morning. What... have I, uh, missed..?” he panted out of breath, the attention of the whole team on him.

Rossi was the first to answer:

“What happened to you?”

“Why?” Spencer shot back instantly, definitely giving away that something indeed happened.

“You told Emily that you missed the bus,” Luke stated. “Newsflash: You got here by your car today.”

“Yeah, Reid. What happened? You’re not yourself this morning,” Derek teased and smirked at him while he leaned back in his chair, twisting a pen with his fingers like he always did.

“Yeah, Morgan. Why don’t you tell us what happened?” Spencer bit back, a smug grin visible on his face.

It was Matt’s turn to throw something in:

“Mature like always, boys.”

“Listen, guys, as much as I would enjoy your playful bickering any other time, now’s not the right time. We have an important case and a police department that needs our help. Reid, we’ll fill you in on everything on our way to New York. Let’s go,” Emily cut in and let their conversation come to an end.

“ _Right_ , Emily. I totally agree,” Spencer claimed, rushing out of the room with big steps to escape any further digging for answers like they’re in one of the interrogations he experienced over the years.

They made it into the plane in a hurry, everyone taking a place in all the corners of the plane. Garcia, who was always back at the FBI to work from her own little office, appeared on the little screen that was built one wall of the plane.

It didn’t take long until they finished, throwing in ideas and discussing everything. A few statistics and facts from Reid later and most of them fell into a slight slumber.

Just when Spencer thought he could catch up on sleep, the questions started again.

This time, he couldn’t suppress an audible scoff:

“You act like it’s such a big deal. Do you want to hear the digits of the amount of times every single one of you was too late?”

“No!” they all called out in unison and went back to their own business in an instant. Except for Derek, who was studying him with a deep frown and Spencer recognized something in his face that looked like a scowl.

-

They sat in the conference room of the NYPD and spent the last five minutes throwing around their jargon, something that was unintelligible to the police officers who eyed them with irritation written all over their faces. Every now and then they asked for the definition of a, for them, unknown term the agents used.

“What do we know about the victims?” Rossi asked Garcia.

“Sarah Linegarden, 22, was a prostitute and dancer, if you know what I mean. Surprisingly, she has never done any drugs. Same as Tracy Judecker, 23. She was a prostitute, had a four year old son and lived with her mother. They were dismembered, the people called the police and reported that they’ve found a hand or an arm in a garbage bin, and.. I can’t believe I’m saying this but: They still haven’t found every part of their bodies.”

“This is a copycat crime,” Spencer said, slowly fitting the pieces of everything together.

“How do you know that?” the leading detective asked incredulously, looking at him through cold, grey eyes.

“Believe me, you don’t want to go down that path,” Derek said, hidinga smile behind his hand. “If there’s one person who knows, it’s him.”

It was not a compliment and despite knowing that, Spencer did his best not to look as flabbergasted as he felt.

“Robert Yale Shuman. A man who killed five women in the span of five years. Two of them haven’t been identified to this day. He murdered prostitutes and dismembered them, amputated their hands or chopped off legs that were later found in bins. But before that, he beat them to death with a hammer or baseball bat.”

“Told you so,” Derek murmured into his hand.

“The only difference: Shuman lured them to his place to do drugs and as Garcia just explained, neither Sarah nor Tracy ever did drugs.”

“That’s not good,” Luke said.

“Why?” one of the officers asked, tilting his head like a lost, confused puppy.

“He’s using Shuman’s method, but the fact that he chooses his victims by his own interest made it harder to find him. Someone copying every little detail could’ve been found easier,” Emily explained patiently.

“He killed two women, Shuman killed five. What will happen when he crosses that line?”

“We have to make sure that he won’t get that far in the first place.”

Reid started to fidget with his fingers, his work of sharing his knowledge was done for now and still a little hungover and with sore muscles, he let himself fall into one of the chairs at the big round table.

Morgan giggled and Spencer could feel him staring holes into the side of his head.

“What?” he whispered through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t say anything!” Derek exclaimed and held his hands up in defense, fully laughing this time.

“Then why are you laughing?” Spencer whined, still not looking at him, but tried to suppress his own laugh when Derek only laughed harder.

“Are you guys okay?” Matt asked and started smiling at the sight of his idiotic friends.

“Did you have a drink?” You could read the amusement in Rossi’s eyes when he asked that question.

But Reid, going into defense mode called out a choked “No!” without realizing that the question was not directed at him.

“Uh-huh,” JJ smiled knowingly.

There was one thing that Spencer didn’t like. Attention. Especially when it came to talking in front of an audience. He blushed and wanted to get out of the situation.

“Oh come on, kid.”

Derek nudged his ribs with his elbow and smiled warmly at him. Spencer got himself to look up now, reciprocating the smile immediately.

“You guys need a room?” Luke couldn’t help himself but teased.

Spencer was close to a tomato now, seeking for help by pleadingly looking at JJ who only shrugged her shoulders in response.

The detective who left the room as soon as they finished talking about the case, came back into the room and they stopped laughing when they saw his stern look.

“They just found a new body- I mean, a part of it,” he said, scratching the back of his head.

The team got up and got in their cars, making their way to the crime scene. Compared to any other investigation, Spencer wasn’t too fond of investigating, let alone moving in general. He didn’t feel as horrible as in the morning, but that didn’t make him feel less unmotivated. He never thought he could hate his job in any way, but that day there was nothing lovable about the job.

Spencer was just about to get out of the car as a hand was pressed on his shoulder. Then, catching him off guard, a breath brushed against his neck. He could feel his neck and arms erupting in goosebumps. Derek whispering into his ear didn’t make it any better.

“We need to talk when we’re back at the station.”

And like nothing ever happened, Derek was gone, leaving Spencer behind trying not to scream. He released his breath and asked himself when he started to hold it in the first place. He clenched his fist, took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, the hot sun burning in his eyes. In one swift movement he pulled his glasses out of his bag and put them on.

This is going to be a long, excruciating day, he thought.

“Any witnesses?” Reid asked, coming to a halt next to JJ.

“Only the woman who found the leg.”

Spencer looked down, a leg laying on top of a white tarp. He remained calm and stopped looking at the leg. He didn’t want the picture staying in his head, even though he knew it won’t get out once it’s in there, which was Spencer’s biggest struggle when it came to his job. Other people start to forget the things they saw after a while, but Spencer’s eidetic memory made it impossible for him.

Sometimes, despite knowing it’s not really the case for his teammates, he was jealous of the people who were seemingly able to just shrug things like that off. And sometimes, he hated it. He hated it even though he loved analyzing and reading. Was it a rarity that he relived his favorite memories when he couldn’t sleep at night, the images of the people they couldn’t save flashing in front of his eyes? No.

Did Derek appear in most of these memories? Without a question.

More years passed by and Spencer soon figured out that Derek turned out to become his anchor. He knew Derek would be there for the rest of his life, still on the team or not didn’t matter. They were too close and knew they wouldn’t lose contact. He was there when he joined the team, and he would be there if one of them would leave the team, not that he planned on doing so. But still.

Derek was his constant in life.

He was scared now, his hands sweating so much that he had to wipe them on his pants a few times. What was Derek going to say when they arrived at the NYPD? Was he close to the moment of rejection by his first ever male love interest?

“The unsub is slowly losing control. Look how unprofessional he did his work. The other two had a clean cut, but this one...” Rossi trailed off.

“He’s either in a hurry because we’re here now, or he starts to care less about how violent it looks and how much it differs from the Shuman victims.”

-

Half an hour late, when he passed the entrance of the NYPD, he was a nervous wreck. His hand were still sweaty and fidgeting around, only stopping when he put them into his pockets, trying not to give anything away.

 _Way to go, Derek. Just make me nervous in the middle of a case_ , he bitterly thought. He saw Derek approaching him, there was no going back. He needed to get this over with and not wanting to anxiously wait any longer for the inevitable, he followed him into one of the many rooms without saying a word.

He stepped into the room, Derek closing the door behind him. He focused on one spot on the wall and Derek walked into his sight.

Derek sighed and Spencer looked at him. He wasn’t able to read anything in his facial expression and he didn’t have another choice than to just wait until he speaks.

“Listen, I don’t remember much from last night, by the way, did I fall somewhere? My head hurts like a bitch.”

 _He doesn’t remember anything from last night? That aren’t the best circumstances to have a conversa-_ , Spencer mused, but his train of thought was interrupted when Derek cleared his throat and his words filled the room.

“But... I do remember the important things. Like you confessing your feelings,” he said and a shy smile adorned his lips. Spencer has never seen him shy before.

“I-“

“No, listen. It’s- I’ve been thinking on the plane. And first of I should probably let you know that I don’t label myself. I’m just Derek, who likes a person when he likes a person. I don’t need a label to know who I am.”

“I understand that.” Spencer smiled at him proudly, he admired his attitude towards sexuality.

“What I’m trying to say is- I don’t want people to like me because we’re attracted by each other due to our sexuality. I want them to like me for being who I am. And I know you do. Hell, you liked me without knowing that I reciprocate your feelings.”

Spencer’s breath hitched. Derek had feelings for him too.

Derek stared at him with piercing eyes, expecting an answer from the curly haired man a few feet across from him.

Without knowing that he did it, Spencer stepped a few inches closer, still trying to take everything in and sort his own thoughts into some that make sense.

“What does that mean for us?”

“That a lot will change. We’re working together and we’ll obviously have to tell the team sometime. If you want this, that is.”

“I think I’m more than okay to take the changes if that means that we’re- You know.”

“That we’re dating? Wow, that sounds- It will definitely take time to get used to saying that,” he chuckled.

“I waited so long for this and it’s really hard not to kiss you right now,” Spencer’s quiet, raspy voice said, not knowing where the sudden confidence boost came from. “But we just saw a leg and-“

“I don’t care,” Derek whispered, now not even a foot apart from Spencer.

He grabbed a fistful of Spencer’s shirt and pulled him as close as possible. In the next moment, Spencer felt soft lips pressing on his own. To steady himself, his hand wandered up to Dereks neck, pulling him even closer with a tight grip.

Derek’s warm hand made its way to the side of Spencer’s head, his thumb resting on his cheek, caressing it absentmindedly. They moved their lips in sync, fitting perfectly together like two puzzle pieces. It was a tender kiss, both hearts racing at an unhealthy rate.

Their bodies were pressed together and they still managed to try and shuffle closer. When Derek suddenly slid his hands into Spencer’s hair and grabbed a fistful of the curls, pulling it slightly, the kiss became more heated by the second. A low growl escaped Spencer’s lips, catapulting him back into reality.

He broke the kiss and while he was still panting for air, he smiled at Derek.

“We’re still at a police station,” he said and a short laugh echoed through the room.

“Right,” Derek answered. His forehead was leaning against Spencer’s, both smiling happily as they progressed what happened.

Their moment was interrupted by a loud knock on the door, reminding them a second time that they weren’t alone and that, with a little bit of bad luck, someone could’ve came in while they were kissing.

They hurried to leave the room not to raise any suspicion, both feeling giddy and like they’re on top of the world.

-

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave some good prompts and ideas for new stories in the comments.


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